Recently, I noticed I was feeling irritated, annoyed, and put out.
An old pattern was creeping in, and I recognized some things I was over-tolerating in a particular situation.

Something needed my attention.

It was time to have a hard conversation, and I was not looking forward to it. 😩

When I addressed the situation with this person, I shared my perspective, set a clear boundary, and explained how I would respond if it happened again.

Shortly after, it happened again. 😖

I was at that dreaded juncture of taking action or continuing to overlook and deny what was happening.

I knew if I didn’t follow through, I would be co-signing with this behavior and these feelings of hurt and anger.
If I didn’t follow through, I’d be accepting unacceptable behavior.
If I didn’t follow through, I had simply made a threat, not set a boundary.

It was time to take action.

I knew what to do.

Say what I mean. Mean what I say. And don’t say it mean.

So I did.

The result was not fun.
To my face, she smiled and said, “That’s fine.”
I knew it was anything but fine.

Behind my back, she spoke publicly about me, told people I was unkind and treated her meanly, and referred to me as a bitch.
A social media smear campaign soon followed.
There was collateral damage, with others questioning me and my motives.

I heard phrases like:

“You know how she can be; maybe you should just overlook it.”
“You shouldn’t ruffle her feathers.”
“She’s been going through a lot lately; maybe she misunderstood what you were saying.”

😳🤯🤦🏻‍♀️

Interesting responses… 💔

I wish I could say this didn’t hurt, that I’ve grown to the point where other people’s opinions and comments don’t bother me.
I wish I could say I didn’t give it a second thought, but that would not be true.

It occupied a lot of space in my mind. 🤔🤯
I replayed the conversations.

I wanted to defend and re-explain myself.

I wanted to retaliate.

I did none of these things, and I said nothing.
Instead, I sat with the emotions. I allowed myself to cry.

I dug deep into my personal truth and realized how much I personalized this.
I checked my facts and faced the reality of setting limits.

✅ Fact… setting boundaries can really hurt and make you the bad person in some people’s eyes. Some people get angry and classify you as a bitch, selfish, or mean.

✅ Fact… setting boundaries sometimes has a ripple effect you weren’t prepared for.

✅ Fact… setting boundaries can lead to people jumping to conclusions and making assumptions when they don’t know the whole story.

✅ Fact… setting boundaries sometimes forces you to stand alone.

✅ Fact… setting boundaries requires hefty tools such as Self-Anchoring, Self-Honoring, and Self-Responsibility to act in your best interest.

✅ ✅ Fact… setting boundaries can reveal some hard truths about the health and quality of the relationships you have.

Facing the facts can be hard. Acceptance is a double-edged sword.
Instead of old behavior, I played with the word BITCH.

I wrote out the letters.
B I T C H

Sure, I can be a bitch at times. 🤬🧙🏻‍♀️

I was not in this situation, but I can be, so why not embrace it⁉️

I played with each letter, and soon enough, a new clarity emerged.

☁️ 🌤️☀️

Here’s what I came up with:
B old
I ntuitive
T eachable

C ourageous

H onest

My perspective shifted.

I reframed the word into something that really does fit me.

Ok… yeah… I am a BITCH‼️
I’m a Bold, Inutile, Teachable, Courageous, Honest woman who took action, spoke up, and acted in her best interest, even when it was hard. (Self-Honoring at its finest 😁 🏆🥇)

Now it’s your turn‼️

The S.O.S. (Sense of Self) Tools in “Misunderstood” are designed to help you in situations like these.
Tools like Self-Define, Self-Honor, and Self-Responsibility are just a few I used in this situation.

These were designed to help you stand in your truth, act in your best interest, make hard decisions, and have the necessary conversations.

I won’t promise you it will be easy, but I do promise they work if you work them‼️ 😁 ♥️