February Reflections: Who Do You Let Shape Your Dreams?

I was at yoga the other day and overheard a conversation that stopped me in my tracks. A few women were talking about their New Year goals and intentions. Of course, my ears perked up.

One woman was excitedly sharing a long-term dream — retiring someday and finding a small home on a large piece of property. You could hear the hope and possibility in her voice.

Another woman responded with a sneer:
“Yeah right… good luck with that.”

Ouch.

Almost immediately, the first woman shrank. Her energy dropped as she said,
“I know. I probably need to give that dream up. It’ll never happen anyway.”

Just like that — her dream was squashed.

I left yoga still thinking about that exchange, and I want to reflect on it from two important angles.

FIRST: THE IMPACT OF WHAT WE OFFER OTHERS

When someone shares their hopes or dreams with you, how do you respond?

Even if you have doubts…
Even if you wouldn’t choose the same thing…
Even if you think it’s unlikely…

Can you still hold space? Can you be a voice of assurance and possibility?

There is enough defeat, fear, and negativity in the world. We don’t need to add to it. Sometimes the most supportive response is encouragement, curiosity, or silence.

Like germs, doubt spreads easily.
Be mindful of what you pass along.

SECOND: HOW MUCH POWER DO YOU GIVE OPO?

Now let’s talk about the first woman.

How easily are you swayed by OPO — Other People’s Opinions?

How much weight do you give to comments, tone, facial expressions, or doubt disguised as being “realistic”?

With my coaching clients, I use an exercise called The Boardroom.
Who gets a seat at your table? Who gets to weigh in on your life?

These are not cheap seats. Consider very carefully who you allow to take a seat at your table.

TWO TOOLS FOR WHEN OPO KNOCKS YOU OFF CENTER

1 – SELF-ANCHORING

Self-Anchoring helps you find your footing when stress, chaos, or disapproval knocks you off center. It allows you to anchor into your truth, values, and decisions.

Self-Anchored Responses:
• Saying nothing but internally sweeping away their opinion to discard the unnecessary input
• “I believe anything is possible. It never hurts to dream.”
• Remembering their response says more about them than you

2 – SELF-REFERENCING

Self-Referencing shifts the focus inward, allowing you to inquire within about your thoughts, feelings, preferences, and desires. Many of us “other-reference” – seeking the input and opinions of what other’s believe to be true or right for us, open to what they think we should or shouldn’t do. We easily subscribe to their preferences and lose value of our own “knowing” and ability to decide and discern.

Your dreams don’t need consensus. They need commitment. Self-referencing means your inner voice gets consulted before the outside world weighs in. Other people’s opinions are information — not evidence or fact. Not everyone deserves a seat at the table where your dreams are discussed.

Wise counsel has a place, but your intuition doesn’t need permission. Protect your dreams like they matter — because they do.

Before seeking outside input, ask:
• How do I feel about this?
• What do I want?
• Does this align with my values and needs?
• Am I seeking guidance — or permission?

Those answers provide everything you need to know.

Your Invitation:

Pay Attention to:
• How you respond to other people’s dreams
• Who you allow to influence yours
• Whether you anchor or absorb
• Whether you self-reference or outsource your truth

Your dreams deserve respect and proper care and attention.
Not everyone earns a seat at your table.

February Quotes: Dreams, OPO & Sense of Self

  • Doubt spreads quickly. Be mindful of what you pass on — and what you take in.
  • Just because someone can’t imagine it doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.
  • Self-anchoring is the ability to stay steady when someone else tries to knock you off center.
  • You don’t have to absorb every comment you hear. Some things are meant to bounce off.
  • Stability isn’t silence — it’s knowing when not to engage.
  • When you stop outsourcing your truth, clarity shows up fast.
  • These are not cheap

 

The Boardroom Exercise: Who Has a Seat at Your Table?

This exercise helps you become intentional about who influences your mindset, mood, goals, and dreams. Not everyone deserves access to your inner boardroom. These are not cheap seats.

Step 1: Picture Your Boardroom

Imagine a large boardroom table. This table represents your thoughts, decisions, dreams, and direction. Only a limited number of chairs surround the table.

Step 2: Who’s Currently Sitting There?

List the people or roles whose voices currently influence you:

Name / Role:
Influence on You:
Helpful or Harmful:

Step 3: Who Earns a Seat?

These are people who encourage growth, respect your values, and can hold space without diminishing your dreams.
Name / Role:
Why They Deserve a Seat:

Step 4: Who Needs to Be Removed or Moved Back?

Some voices may need to be removed, moved back, or listened to less often.

Write down who you are reclaiming power from:

Step 5: Self-Anchoring Check

When someone challenges or dismisses your dreams, what helps you stay grounded?

Examples: taking a breath, saying nothing, using a one-line boundary, or reminding yourself that their response says more about them than you.

Step 6: Self-Referencing Questions

Before seeking outside input, ask yourself:
• How do I feel about this?
• What do I want?
• Does this align with my values and needs?
• Am I seeking guidance — or permission?

Closing Reflection

Your dreams deserve protection, encouragement, and intention.
Be selective with who you invite into your inner boardroom.
Not everyone gets a vote.

 

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