The Heart of Connection
Let’s Really Communicate 💬 💑
Are you ready to transform the way you communicate?!?
Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether with your partner, kids, colleagues, friends, or even yourself. Yet for something we do every single day, it’s also one of the easiest places to get stuck, tangled, and hurt.
Why? Because most of us were never taught how to truly communicate. We picked up habits—assumptions, blame, defensiveness, avoidance—that create distance instead of closeness. We learned ineffective patterns and language that does more harm than good, even with the people we love most.
This is why I love Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a framework developed by Marshall Rosenberg that shifts us from conflict to connection. It fosters Self-Awareness and Self-Responsibility to understand and communicate what’s going on inside of you. NVC helps you do that by focusing on three simple steps that transform awareness and communication: feelings, needs, and strategies.
Let me walk you through the tool—and then invite you to practice it with me at my upcoming workshop.
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Step 1: Start with Feelings
First things first: there are no bad feelings—none! Feelings are simply signals pointing to what’s happening inside of us. But here’s the catch: most of us confuse feelings with judgments.
Words like disrespected, abandoned, or rejected aren’t true feelings—they’re interpretations of someone else’s behavior. Real feelings are words like hurt, angry, lonely, disappointed, sad, excited, or hopeful. I’ll offer you an entire “menu” of feelings for deeper awareness.
Too often, instead of naming our feelings, we jump into blame:
• “I feel so left out.”
• “I feel like you never listen to me.”
These phrases actually hide judgments inside the word feel. And that triggers defensiveness.
Instead, authentic feelings open the door to connection:
• ✅ “I feel hurt when you cancel our plans.”
• ✅ “I feel lonely when I don’t hear from you during the day.”
💡 Practice: The next time you feel reactive, pause and ask: What am I truly feeling right now? Choose simple, clear words like hurt, anxious, relieved, grateful, or frustrated.
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Step 2: Identify Needs
Ever gone to the refrigerator, snacked aimlessly, and walked away still unsatisfied? It wasn’t about the food—you didn’t know what you were really hungry for. Communication works the same way.
Beneath every feeling is a need. When needs are met, we feel good. When they aren’t, we feel frustrated, disconnected, or “hungry” for something more.
For example:
• Feeling frustrated? Maybe you need clarity, respect, or fairness.
• Feeling lonely? Maybe you need connection, belonging, or affection.
• Feeling peaceful? Your needs for safety, rest, or balance are probably met.
Recognizing needs shifts us out of blame:
• ❌ “You make me so mad!”
• ✅ “I need more clarity about our plans.”
💡 Practice: When you notice a strong emotion, ask: What need is underneath this feeling?
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Step 3: Make Clear Strategies (Not Demands)
Once you know your feelings and needs, the next step is to make a specific strategy. These are ways you want to meet a need. You may be able to meet the need on your own or you may make a request of someone else. Here’s where most people trip up—we either don’t ask at all (and stew in silence), or we make demands that push people away.
I will lay out a simple method to make clear, respectful, doable requests—strategies that meet needs without forcing or blaming.
For example:
• ❌ “You never listen!” → ✅ “Would you be willing to put your phone down while we talk for 10 minutes?”
• ❌ “You don’t care about me!” → ✅ “Can we could set aside one evening this week to walk together?”
Notice how the second versions are actionable, collaborative, and respectful.
💡 Practice: When tempted to criticize, pause and ask: What’s one specific request I can make that would help meet my need?
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Why It Matters
When you use feelings, needs, and strategies, you:
• Take responsibility for your feelings and needs.
• Speak with clarity and respect.
• Invite connection instead of defensiveness.
• Build trust and safety in your relationships.
The result? Self-empowerment and relationships where people feel seen, valued, and respected.
Simple? Yes. Easy? Not always. Worth it? Absolutely❣️
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✨ Action Step
Pick one relationship where communication feels strained.
Write this sentence:
“I feel ___ because I need ___.”
Then, create one clear, specific request that could bring more clarity and connection into that relationship.
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Ready to Strengthen Your Communication?
I’d love to help you practice these tools in a safe, supportive space. This isn’t just about communication—it’s about self-awareness and self-responsibility that you can apply at home, at work, and in any relationship, even the relationship you have with yourself!
📅 Tuesday, November 11, 2025
🕕 6:00 – 8:15 PM
📍 Story Point, 9255 US 42, Union, KY
💲 $55 per person
At this workshop, you’ll walk away with:
• Clear, confident ways to express your thoughts and feelings 🗣️💬
• Insight into the core needs driving your behavior 🤔
• Tools to stop self-sabotaging patterns 😫➡️😊
• A 3-step process for deeper connection in relationships 🧠💡
• Strategies to avoid the Top 10 Communication Mistakes 🙅♀️🔧
This workshop has already helped hundreds of people transform how they relate, connect, and communicate. In just two hours, you’ll leave with practical tools you can use immediately‼️
✨ 👉 Don’t wait to sign up. This workshop sells out every year!
the-art-of-effective-communication
Much love,
~ Allyson 💙
